Wedding Stress Management 101
You don't have to elope to ease the pain of wedding planning

By Traci Brink Cumbay
Planning a wedding? Unless you have spent your life thus far working in an emergency room, you probably are not equipped to handle the pressure with as much grace as you might like.

Nurse or not, after your 87th conversation with your future mother-in-law about whether to use antique white or winter white tablecloths, you may feel like drawing blood.

And although she clearly means well, your florist aunt who can't get it in her head that you simply do not want red carnations in your bouquet may be sending your blood pressure to unparalleled heights.

On top of everything, your boss sprung a new project on you, your car is making an ominous squeak again, and your fiancé can't understand why you don't have time for the camping trip you've been talking about.

Run. Run like the wind and don't stop until your wedding day is behind you.

Barring that extreme measure, take a deep breath and relax. You can get through this. We promise.

Slow down
When staring down a Herculean to-do list, you may feel that picking up the pace is the only way to accomplish everything. Ironically, if you push yourself harder, you're likely to get less done.

Stop running in circles. Grab a pen and a cup of tea (or in more extreme instances, vodka), and sit down with your list. Prioritize the things that most need your attention and need it soonest. Make a separate list of items that can be handled by a trusted friend, a bridesmaid or your mom.

Unlike the time you moved to your third apartment in nine months, a wedding brings out the generosity lurking in even your most "me-oriented" friends and family members.

People want to help you, and there is no glory in doing everything yourself. You won't get a medal at the end just because you bring yourself to the breaking point by taking on too much responsibility.

Schedule breaks
Wedding planning is exciting. It's fun looking at dresses and choosing flowers and tasting cake samples, but if you let yourself get too caught up in these details, you can lose your perspective, if not your mind.

Treat yourself well: Schedule wedding-free time for yourself, as well as for you and your main squeeze.

Plan to devote at least one afternoon or evening each week to something relaxing, fun, and completely un-wedding-related. Look for activities that will make you laugh, blow off steam or just take your mind off that all-important hors d'oeuvres decision.

One bride found kick-boxing to be the ideal solution.

"I took out a lot of frustrations on that heavy bag," she said. "Every time I left class, I felt like I could handle anything."

Another bride took a square-dancing class with her fiancé, which she said kept them both laughing — and do-si-do-ing — right through the most stressful times.
Get a massage, take a hike, take in a movie (preferably not "Father of the Bride" or "My Best Friend's Wedding") — do something, but for cryin' out loud, give yourself a break!

Put it in perspective
Your wedding will not be ruined if you don't have exactly three Sunset calla lilies at each table. It will not be a disaster if your bridesmaid decides to pierce her eyebrow six weeks before your ceremony. And we guarantee that no one will notice whether they're dining on the Regal or the Elegante dinnerware.

You probably have never been asked to make such a vast number of decisions at any time in your life up to this point. It is, without a doubt, an overwhelming proposition.

And it's largely unnecessary.
You are getting married. Married! You have, against all odds, found the person who makes you happier than you thought possible. You have chosen the person with whom you will share your life. That is important. Which mints you put on the tables at your reception are not. §

MacDonald Services